Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I can count

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I caught my neighbor leaving his 12-year-old son home alone and he has not come back in 6 hours. Should I call CPS?

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

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If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

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I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

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I can read

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

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I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

What are some tips for a girl with low self-esteem to start dating?

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I have complete contempt for fakery

If you’re an atheist, what would be your motive in spreading atheism, and why would you care what others believe?

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

What’s the worst thing you caught anyone in your family doing?

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

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I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t cotton to rapists

I understand how hurricane paths work

What makes outside showers appealing? Why are they not commonly seen?

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I don’t buy bullshit

I feel like my boyfriend doesn't love me. Why?

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I see through liars

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

What is better, 4 more years of Trump with the media trying to hurt him, or 8 years of DeSantis with the media licking booty, or 4 to 8 years of RFK with the media hating on him all the time? (Biden is not an option, he can't win)

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I actually pay taxes

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I have a reading level above third grade

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t